My Work in The War Office

Since volunteering, more years ago than I care to remember, my Army career has been uneventual, a low medical category forcing me into a “back room” in the Directorate of Selection of Personnel. The purpose of our witchcraft being (Psychological and Psychiatric Research) to put round pegs in round holes, to select officers, to prepare tests of intelligence, aptitude, temperament, and so on. The Official Secrets Act and my unsatisfied guinea pigs will haunt me to my dying day, to say nothing of Red Tape!

Highlights? Nothing startling, I’m afraid. I suppose the regular appearance of V.1 and V.2—the former arousing the anti-social wish that it would stop short or go on. Secondly, the conclusion that the decorum in the Middlesbrough Shul is as good as the decorum anywhere else. Thirdly, the discovery (not without ambivalence) that there is no place like Middlesbrough—yes, I mean that!

And what of the future? Personally it means working as a Historian in this Directorate until my Bowler Hat is presented to me, and then ….

Can’t you guess, in any event, Selection has endless possibilities:

“That Selection be adopted to eliminate mis-marriage

Is a logical development like motor-car from carriage.”

DAVID SIMON